Our 1st Big Decision of 2014

Our first big decision of 2014 is to not make a decision.  Despite what it sounds like, this is progress! Since Eliana arrived, I have seriously doubted our plan to be a family of five and have driven myself crazy trying to make a decision about baby #4.  I've searched and hoped for ways to make the decision easier and I think it all finally paid off.  Here are a few things that happened recently:

1. My paternal grandma (who fully supports me having all the children I want) said, "you can't keep having babies because they're sweet".  While that statement may seem obvious, it was profound. 

2.  A couple weeks ago, I caught a stomach bug that felt a lot like the first trimester of pregnancy.  I'm not so sure I'm up for months of all day, every day morning sickness. 

3. We decided it's okay if we don't stick to our original plan of completing our family by the time we're 30.

While I am very appreciative of Mate's openness to expand our family, the decision is ultimately up to me . . . talk about a big responsibility! Now that we've agreed to give ourselves time, I have an inner peace that has been missing for months. 

Having said all that, I must confess that I looked at Eliana the other morning and asked, "why can't you be hideous and awful?"  Of course I was joking, but if she was hideous and awful, I definitely wouldn't be contemplating having another baby.

Happy 11 Months, by the way