What I Learned While Mate was Away

While Mate was away, I was given the opportunity to learn quite a bit about our ability to parent as a team.  I know that sounds strange given he was on the other side of the world, but stick with me.  The daily tasks were all up to me, yet I was less stressed when problems arose and maneuvered through each day with a lightness that isn’t always present in everyday life. Sure, I was taking some parenting and housekeeping short cuts, but it’s not like I kicked my heels up for 11 days and let the girls fend for themselves.   I quickly realized what was happening: I loved having all the control.  I’ve always known I work better alone than in a group, but these girls aren’t a school project and I’ve made things a bit difficult for my partner in parenting.  

In my defense, a lot of decisions are made and routines set while Mate is at work.  It’s hard to let that go when he gets home.   I try.  When things don’t go exactly as they would if I was in charge, I often have an internal freak out.  Sometimes, I’m pretty darn good at stifling my inner agony.  Sometimes, I’m just plain awful at it.  Mate’s a great dad and a completely competent human being and I really should take advantage of that.  I’m wasting a whole lot of energy and happiness getting stressed about the ridiculous amount of time it’s taking him to find the pink bow with zebra stripes that’s not in the spot we keep hair bows.  How does he not know it’s right where we left it: mixed in with the art supplies in the pantry?  Okay, I’m not that crazy and Mate will be the first to admit that I am better suited for the role of stay-at-home parent. However, being better suited doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement, so I’m more determined than ever to welcome his help (no matter how much that strays from my way).

We'll always be a work in progress