When we arrived at the college, I met some of Mate's colleagues and then we made our way to the banquet room. I'm not going to lie, the room was filled with a whole bunch of middle-aged white men. I immediately felt out of place. It all got a bit more awkward when we were seated at a reserved table. On the middle of the table there was this piece of paper:
Reserved
Richard G. Barr, M.D., Ph.D.
Yangiao Zhang, M.D.
Paul Hartung, Ph.D.
Mate Soric, Pharm. D.
Tina Soric
Robert H. Eaglen, Ph.D.
On any normal day, it doesn't matter that I don't have a doctorate degree. Last night, I couldn't keep from eying that paper. I wanted so badly to pull out a pen and scribble B.A., M.A., MOM next to my name. The kindergartener in me may have even wanted to stick my tongue out at all those guys and say "so there". I behaved myself, though, even asking all the men if I could get them any coffee. Thankfully, they all politely declined. As we chit-chatted throughout dinner, I proudly discussed my time as a teacher and new career as a mom. Proudly, because I know that all those fancy letters after each of their names doesn't mean they can do what I do.
On our way home, Mate and I spent a bit of time talking about the evening. I admitted that I felt awkward, which bothers me. Even though all the men were friendly and respectful, just being aware
of the societal constructs that create a culture where some careers are
valued over others was enough to make me uncomfortable. My choice to stay at home and raise our children doesn't make me
less-than, but there I was allowing a piece of paper to make me feel
inferior. It may sound silly, but sadly, that's the reality for a lot of women on various career paths. I hope our girls don't have similar experiences in the future.
Today, when I take all three girls to a play date, followed by lunch with Mate at the hospital, I'll be confident that one day in my shoes would have all those men exhausted!
Trust me... there are days I wonder if I'd be much more satisfied doing what you're doing than what I'm doing!
ReplyDeleteOh Tina, you just made me cry reading this because I can relate 100%. Sometimes when people ask me what I do, I catch myself prefacing that I used to be an educator, now I stay home, because I don't want them to think that I couldn't chose to do something different. It's a terrible habbit I must learn to kick! But you are so right sweetheart, that even if one of those men could hold it together for a day in your shoes, none of them could thrive the way you do. Your girls and Mate, and everyone else you come in contact with is so positively affected by you, regardless of your 'title'. Thanks for recognizing your worth!
ReplyDeleteGod has given you the opportunity to do the most important job of you life, raising your children. I'd like to be able to put letters behind your name that show that, but I don't have any. Never fear, those men with all those letters behind their names would run and hide before they would take on the care of 3 children ages 2 and under. Be happy and content in your work - it's a God appointment. Nothing is more important or significant than that.
ReplyDeleteI love this. The best part, " Proudly, because I know that all those fancy letters after each of their names doesn't mean they can do what I do." :)
ReplyDeleteWell, there's book learnin' and then there's life learnin'. Your balance of each most likely makes you a happier, more successful human being than many who lean a lot harder on the book learning side of the equation.
ReplyDelete